Every parent has those moments. The one where your sweet, innocent child chooses a crowded supermarket, a family gathering, or the checkout line to ask something like:
“How did the baby get into Aunty Ava?”
“How’s it going to come out?”
“Why does Daddy’s bottom have hair on it?”
“Will my penis be as big as yours?”
Or then there’s the time (true story) when my daughter took my birth doll for news at school and told everyone in Kindy how babies came out of the bajina- (no it’s not a spelling mistake!!)
Or the time when my son asked what an abortion was in front of his very conservative grandparents?
Or the time when a kid yelled out in one of my talks “What’s cum?” (their parents went bright red and came up to me at the end and apologised).
We’ve all been there — those feelings of horror because you can feel the other shoppers’ eyes on you. Pride because, well, they’re asking a question! They’re curious! And isn’t that what we want — a child who’s interested in the world and who is not afraid to ask?
Suddenly, you’re caught between wanting to educate your child and wanting the floor to open up and swallow you whole. Still, it’s hard to appreciate the learning opportunity when you feel like you’re taken by surprise in a very public setting.
Over the years, I’ve learned that those cringey, public moments of truth-telling are actually tiny previews of what’s to come — the awkward, beautiful, necessary conversations we’ll one day have with our preteens about puberty, bodies, sex and sexuality.
One of my first lessons came in the supermarket in aisle 7. I was holding my baby, trying to wrangle a week’s worth of groceries, when my older child loudly announced to everyone within a five-metre radius:
“Mum! You need to get your nappies!”
The elderly lady next to us raised an eyebrow. I definitely wanted to disappear there and then ….But my child wasn’t done; “The ones that help you when the blood comes out of your privates”
It was a mortifying moment… and yet, also kind of cool. My child was listening. They’d heard the message I’d been trying to teach about asking me anything and being able to start conversations about periods in an open shame free-way.
That was my first clue that our kids’ curiosity and honesty, though often embarrassing, are actually signs of trust. They ask questions and make observations because they feel safe doing so.
Then there was the café incident. Mid-cuppucino, my 8 year- old asked.
“How long does the penis stay in the vagina?” People just looked and waited in silent solidarity.
But here’s what struck me: children aren’t trying to embarrass us – they’re exploring their world and testing boundaries. When they blurt out something about body parts, toilet habits, or anything else “taboo,” they’re actually checking in: Is it safe to talk about this?
The way we respond, whether with shame, laughter, or calm openness, shapes what happens next.
If we shush them or change the subject, they learn that talking about their body is something to hide. But if we breathe, smile, and give a gentle, age-appropriate response, they learn something far more important; “I can talk to Mum or Dad about anything.”
That message will matter more than we can imagine when the questions get bigger and we build on them.
Children are naturally curious. They’re trying to make sense of a complex world filled with differences, rules, and unspoken social codes. When they ask awkward questions, they’re not being rude. They’re learning. Perhaps they are anxious about something and simply need reassurance. And as parents, these moments give us an early chance to shape how our kids will handle curiosity later on.
Because one day, those questions might sound like:
“What’s puberty?”
“Why do some people kiss on TV?”
“What does sex mean?”
“What’s porn?”
When that day comes, and it will, the way we respond now will echo in how they come to us then.
The leap from a toddler’s questions to a preteen’s “Can I ask you something…?” isn’t as big as it seems. The only thing that changes is the content — and maybe the volume level!
The preteen years bring new layers to curiosity. It’s no longer just “Why do people have nipples?” but “When will mine grow?” or “What’s happening to my body?” or “What’s a condom?”
If our children have already learned that it’s safe to ask any questions, and that we’ll respond with honesty, safety, and respect then we’ve laid the foundation for open, lifelong conversations.
So, those supermarket blushes? They’re actually practice runs.
When a child drops an awkward bomb in public, our instinct is to panic. But here’s the secret: our reaction teaches more than our words ever could.
If we go red, hush them, or laugh nervously, we might unintentionally send the message that their curiosity is something to be ashamed of.
But if we respond calmly (or at least pretend to), we model comfort, empathy, and emotional regulation.
Here’s a simple approach that works for almost any “please let me vanish” question:
1. Acknowledge
“That’s an interesting question.”
2. Reassure
“Let’s talk about that in the car (or some place more private) where it’s quieter.”
3. Explain
Give an age-appropriate answer later, when everyone’s less distracted and in private.
When we think back on the funny, cringe-worthy moments from our kids’ early years, it’s easy to just laugh. But they also reveal something profound about communication, trust, and emotional safety.
Children who feel safe to ask uncomfortable questions in public are likely to:
- Feel confident talking about sensitive topics later
- Learn that curiosity is positive and normal
- Build stronger, more honest relationships with their parents
And parents who can stay calm (or at least fake it well) in those moments are already doing the groundwork for future conversations about sex, consent, safety and respectful relationships.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to stay open.
By the time your child hits preteen age, their questions start to come with more emotion, privacy, and even anxiety attached.
Instead of blurting things out in public, they might go quiet. They might ask their friends, search online, or test you with a “hypothetical” question (“What would you say if someone’s friend liked someone?”).
This is where all those early, awkward experiences pay off.
If they learned that their questions are safe with you -no shame, no punishment, and no overreaction, they’ll keep coming back.
If you can handle the “hairy bottom” comment, you can handle “What’s a period?” and you will definitely be able to confidently explain wet dreams or body odour.
Here are a few simple strategies that can help you respond calmly to awkward questions, whether your child is three or thirteen:
1. Take a Breath Before You Speak
You don’t need the perfect answer in the moment. A calm tone matters more than clever words. “That’s a great question - let’s talk about it later,” is perfectly fine.
2. Keep Curiosity Alive
When you show that you value their curiosity, they’ll keep sharing. Try responding with genuine interest: “Hmm, what made you wonder that?”
3. Use Humour Wisely
Laughter can diffuse tension, but be careful that your child doesn’t feel laughed at. Let the humour bond you, not embarrass them.
4. Normalise, Normalise, Normalise
Use phrases like “Lots of people wonder about that,” or “That’s a really normal thing to ask.” It reassures them that they’re not weird or naughty for being curious.
5. Follow Up
Even if the conversation started in public, circle back later. A quiet car ride or bedtime chat is often the best place to expand on their question with warmth and honesty.
6. Reflect, Don't React
Ask yourself: What is my child really asking? Sometimes a question about “where babies come from” is actually about love, closeness, or change.
7. Give Yourself Grace
We all get flustered. Sometimes we say the wrong thing. What matters most is circling back: “Hey, remember what you asked earlier? I didn’t explain that very well. Let’s try again.” This simple act models humility and emotional intelligence which are two things our kids need just as much as information.
And that trust is what makes all the difference when our children step into puberty, identity, relationships, and sexuality. “Can I talk to you about this, and will you still love me if I do?” If the answer is yes — even when our cheeks are bright red — we’re doing just fine.
The biggest thing I’ve learned from my own public “question moments” is this: awkward doesn’t mean bad. It just means real. Real trust. Real connection. Real communication. Real learning.
In a world where so many conversations about bodies, sex, and identity are whispered or hidden, these unfiltered moments are little gifts - reminders that our kids still see us as safe people to ask. Check out the blog here that I wrote here about how to have positive conversations about sex
Final Thoughts
Parenting is full of moments that stretch us – moments that make us laugh, cry, and grow all at once. Awkward public questions are part of the messy, beautiful journey we are on together. They remind us that curiosity is not the enemy, rather it’s the foundation of learning, understanding empathy, and trust.
So next time you find yourself in aisle seven, red-faced but smiling, remember:
You’re not just surviving an awkward moment.
You’re building a bridge.
One funny, honest, human question at a time.
Because one day, that same child will be a preteen, coming to you quietly with questions that matter even more. And when they do, you’ll be ready – because you’ve already had the best (and most embarrassing) practice.
Helpful Resources
Tell Me
This book answers the questions that our children are asking. Kids also ask the kind of questions that, to a lot of adults, may seem awkward to answer. With this book as a guide, you can finally give factual, age-appropriate answers for their questions about their bodies, sex, and relationships.
The Sex Education Answer Book
One thing that makes conversations about sex awkward is not knowing how to properly answer your children's questions.
Help Your Kids with Growing Up
'Help Your Kids With Growing Up: A no nonsense guide to puberty and adolescence' by Robert Winston assists parents/carers with just about every issue relating to puberty, sex and growing up in our contemporary world.
Sex Talks with Tweens
Sex talks with tweens: What to Say & How to Say It! Was written by Amy Lang and published in 2022. Basically, it’s a script for any question that the child in your care might ask you, and exactly what to say about sexual health. These scripts are for kids aged nine to twelve years.
