Part of The Amazing Me Top Tips Series
Why Creating a Safe Space for Questions Builds Lifelong Connection
You’re standing in the supermarket checkout line, already slightly heightened by the weekly shop. Your trolley is full (it’s going to be so expensive), your brain is full, and you’re mentally calculating how quickly you can get everyone home before someone melts down.
In front of you, a man begins unloading his groceries onto the conveyor belt. And beside you sitting in the trolley is your son… who, today, has decided to be a full-time commentator (with his hand held like a microphone).
“Oh! He’s got Coco Pops!” he announces loudly.
“And chocolate! Mum, can we get chocolate too?”
He leans forward, studying each item like it’s a live broadcast.
“He’s buying lots of junk food.”
“And Coke! He’s so lucky. He’s allowed to drink Coke and I’m not.”
You feel the eyes of the people around you. You offer a polite, slightly apologetic smile, gently reminding your son about being respectful, while internally wondering if it’s too late to abandon the trolley and walk out.
Trying to steer things back on track, you say lightly, “Maybe he’s having a party.”
Your son turns straight to the man.
“Are you having a party?”
The man pauses, smiles, and says, “Yeah, I am actually.”
And then… it happens.
He places the final item on the conveyor belt.
A bright, impossible-to-miss packet with bold writing across the front:
“Condoms: Rock Solid Fun for a Big Man.”
Time slows.
You see it.
Your son sees it.
And because your son is a very confident reader…
He reads it.
Not quietly but out loud.
Now there’s a small, interested audience. People in the queue are smiling, trying not to laugh. Your son, completely unaware of the social tension he has just created, looks up at the man and asks, clearly and innocently:
“What are condoms for?”
The man freezes.
You freeze.
The cashier suddenly becomes very interested in scanning items.
And in that moment, you have a choice.
Because this… is one of those moments.
Top Tip #6 is this: Questions are welcome
Moments like the one in the supermarket can feel overwhelming. Not because our child has done anything wrong, but because questions like these can catch us completely off guard.
And if you’re honest, sometimes it’s not just the question itself that makes your heart race.
It’s everything that sits behind it.
The memories.
The uncertainty.
The quiet pressure to get it “right” – especially when you have a live audience at the supermarket line.
Which is exactly what we explored in our last blog.
Because once we begin to understand our own story and the experiences that have shaped how we feel about these conversations, something begins to shift.
We realise that it’s not really about having the perfect answer in the moment.
It’s about how we respond.
It’s about whether our child feels safe to ask.
It’s about whether that question is welcomed… or whether it is quietly shut down.
Because here’s the truth. Questions like these are not interruptions to parenting. They are the work of parenting. They are small, everyday moments where children are trying to make sense of the world around them. And in these moments, they are not testing us.
They are trusting us.
What This Tip Does for Our Kids
When we begin to welcome our children’s questions, something powerful starts to take shape. We create emotional safety. And emotional safety is what keeps the conversation going – not just today, but across the years that follow.
A child who feels safe asking a question in a supermarket line is far more likely to come back to you later with something bigger. When we respond calmly and without judgement, our children learn:
“I can go to my parent.”
“I’m safe here.”
“They can handle this.”
“They won’t shut me down.”
And that belief becomes incredibly protective.
Because if we are not the place they come to, they will still find answers.
From friends who are guessing.
From the internet, which doesn’t know their age or values.
The question is not whether our children will learn.
It is who they will learn from.
When we make space for their questions, we position ourselves as their safe, trusted guide. And just because your child looks like they’ve moved on does not mean they weren’t listening. Children absorb far more than we realise.
This is how trust is built.
5 Ways to Practice This Tip Daily
1. Pause Before You Respond
Take a breath. A calm response matters more than a perfect one.
2. Keep Your Answer Simple and Age-Appropriate
Children are not asking for everything.
For a 4-year-old:
“Condoms are something adults use to help keep their bodies safe.”
For a 5-year-old:
“Condoms are something adults use when they are in a relationship to help keep their bodies safe and healthy.”
For a 7-year-old:
“Condoms are something adults use when they are in a close relationship. They help protect their bodies and stop babies from being made before they are ready and from getting diseases.”
It’s up to you to know where they’re at. If you’d like to read further specifically on the topic of talking to your child about condoms, you might like to read this blog I have previously written - ‘Mum, Dad, What’s a Condom?’
3. Stay Matter-of-Fact
Your tone teaches safety. Calm voice, neutral delivery.
4. Think About the ‘Why’ Behind the Question
“What made you ask that?”
This helps you respond to what they actually need and want to know.
5. Keep the Door Open
“You can always ask me questions like that.”
This builds a lifelong pattern of connection.
If you’d like to explore this further, you might like to read another blog that I have written about the moment my own child asked an awkward question and how I navigated that in real time.
Aligning This With Your Family Values
For many parents and/or trusted adults, this is the part that feels the most delicate.
But welcoming your child’s questions does not mean abandoning your values.
Even in the supermarket moment, notice something important.
The answers we explored were simple, factual and focused on safety.
They did not encourage behaviour.
They did not compromise beliefs.
They supported your values.
You are teaching that bodies matter, that safety matters and that relationships carry responsibility and wise choices can then be made.
Values are not formed in silence.
They are shaped through conversation.
And when children feel safe, your values land more deeply.
You might like to read a blog that I wrote a few years back on how to make the most of random moments that present as opportunities when your child asks questions.
Final Thoughts
It is easy to assume that moments like the one in the supermarket are something to survive.
But what if we began to see them differently?
What if these moments are not interruptions… rather they are invitations.
Because when your child asks a question, they are choosing you.
Talking early, and welcoming questions, is not about having all the answers.
It is about building something far more important.
A relationship where your child feels safe.
A place where curiosity is welcomed.
And over time, those small moments become the foundation for bigger conversations.
Because when a child knows, “I can ask my parent anything”, they are far more likely to come to you when it really matters.
And that relationship is one of the greatest protective influences a child can have. You are their safety. You have built a trusted connection. You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to stay in the conversation.
Books to explore this topic further:
Click on each book image to learn more. These titles are provided as a starting point for your own exploration and are not necessarily endorsement or specific recommendations.
Where Do Babies Come From?
“Where Do Babies Come From?” by Michelle Mitchell is a factual, and fun book that helps tweens explore how babies are made, born, and cared for.
How Do You Make A Baby?
How Do You Make a Baby? talks about the basics of how babies are made in a funny but factual way.
Help! Why am I Changing?
Help! Why Am I Changing? gives kids the information about puberty in order to help them to be more confident.
What's Going On Down There?
What’s Going on Down There? answers questions that many young boys have about growing up.
